Thinking About Our Own Behavior before Blaming Others

The honor's class in this week talked about dealing with difficult behavior. This reminds me that my friend always complains to me about her irresponsible group mates in a project.

"A is irresponsible, the quality of her work is low, but she still think she is the leader of us!"

"B did nothing in our group, but chat with others when we are writing report!"

"Although I think C is stupid, at least she sometimes is willing to help. I do not like her, but she is much better than others."

Sometimes I just wonder that if there is anyone whom my friend is willing to work with.

I also have some similar experience, too. It is inevitable to meet or work with some people who have difficult behaviors. I was once used to tolerate this behavior, thinking that I am unlucky time so I have a bad partner. In this sense, I always attribute the causes of conflict to others, ot the outside environment. I seldom think about that may be this is my problem or may be I am the one who has difficult behaviors.

I think it is normal that most of people will attribute the bad thing to others, and run away from the responsibility. In social psychology, it is called the Fundamental Attribute Erro. Thus, I think when dealing with difficult behavior, we should not think immediately that other's behavior is caused by their quality, environment may also play an important role here. For example, may be he or she has a lot of stress recently, or the person is feel sick. Just like Dr. Udani said that we should focus on the behavior, not the people.

Also, we should find the problem from ourselves first, and then others. We are not perfect, and sometimes we are the difficult staff in the team but we just do not realize it. Take me as an example, I never thought I am a person who is difficult to deal with, but when I asked myself:

Do I like to work closely with people and enjoy a team experience?-- No.

Do I relish individual work arriving at conclusion on my own?-- Yes.

But I will try if I have to work in a team, I think I will not do something negative and uncomfortable to others.

Therefore, it seems that I also have the quality to have some difficult behaviors. So stop blaming others, may be it is not the "strange"teammates make me dislike the cooperation, but my own negative emotion of the cooperation makes me dislike my teammates and even the project.

When complaining about others, we'd better think about our own behavior first.

My Recent Life

It is 3 pm in the afternoon, and I just came back from a Spanish class. Many things happened in the past week. I think it is the time to write them down.

Last Sunday, the BBQ was held. Although most people were late, I understand that they may be busy and have other things to do. As an organizer of the BBQ, I think if we made the time at lunch or dinner instead of 3 pm, there won't be so many people late. A BBQ at 3 pm is a little bit weird for many people, I guess. The reason why we made it is that we think we can play games first and after the activities, we can eat at dinner time. Anyway, it is my fault that I did not plan well before the BBQ, but I still hope my classmate had good time there. I am happy that they are come.

On the other hand, I like the BBQ very much. I ate lots of delicious meat. It was exciting that Helen said she loved my honey bread. I made it myself in the BBQ. Also, I appreciate that my year-1 friends came. They showed great interest in applying for HC, and came up with lots of questions. I hope to see them next semester in the HC.

In sum, the BBQ is not as successful as I expected. It is my first time in organizing a BBQ. Thanks to Jackon, he did a lot. Next time I will be more experienced, and I think I can do it better. Most importantly, I hope I can make everyone happy.

After the Sunday's BBQ, on Tuesday, I had a midterm exam. This exam is 30% in my final grade, and there is only 20 multiple choices. Up to now, I know I already got 3 wrong. which means it is hardly for me to get an A from this class. I was so depressed in the following days. And I also had nightmares. This is a big shortcoming of mine. I just do not know how to go through things. Once I experience some failure, I depress for a long time. Even now, I do not know how can I overcome it. I just take the GPA so serious. Next Monday I made an appointment with the teacher, I think maybe taking to him will help me get through this.

Then on Wednesday, which is a peaceful day. In the HC class, I wrote down my encouragement to one of my classmates. One sentence is just not enough for me to say how much I support him or her. After my friend read this note, he or she told me that it was touched and impressed. I was not surprised that my friend like the note because I wrote it by my heart. That is what I learnt from that class. Honesty can be felt. And people can felt it if I interact with them with my whole heart.

Well, life is not easy, I still have lots of things to overcome. I am going to another class, so I have stop here. I hope all of you have a good weekend!

LOOKING FORWARD TO THE BBQ ON SUNDAY

This week I finished almost all my midterm, and now I just 2 assignments, 1mid-term, and 1 presentation next week. I feel better, and I am looking forward to the coming BBQ on this Sunday, hoping the weather will be good.

This week, Dean returned from the U.S. and bring some news. The good news is that five top universities in the U.S. are interested in accepting us as their exchange students. However, the bad news for me is, I have to take TOEFL test and got more than 100. That's not easy! I have to struggle for it.

This news made me recall my experiences since I became a member in the HC. The challenges never stops, especially in this semester. Last semester, when I was in HONR101, Self Discovery, we established the Honours College Student Association, and organized the New year party. I was busy at that time, but not pressured. While this semester, I did many things I have never done before, and I knew my classmates better. The challenges made me fight and work hard, even made me eager to get the good result. I think I become more and more competitive.

I understand myself better by taking the self discovery course, and know the qualities of leadership and the society better through the course of leadership skill development. And I think I can burden more stress now, after experiencing those terrible two weeks.

So, the video that Udani showed to us this Wednesday is enlighten-- optimistic. The TOEFL test is challenged and painstaking, however, I am so lucky to have teammates working and studying with me. In this sense, I got the encouragement and motivation. I am not alone when struggling for TOEFL, thanks to my teammates. In addition, I have the sources from the university, for example, the English class and the test fee. I am already luckier than millions of people. So, what do I need to complain?

See you on Sunday, I hope the BBQ can make all of you happy!

TENGO MUCHO ESTRÉS

I just finished a mid-term examination of law in the morning, and I have to turn in a 4-pages paper tomorrow which I have not start yet. On Friday, I have another mid-term and an assignment. I feel lots of pressure. I always want to get an A from all my class, but I just have no time to prepare my mid-term exams and assignments as I used to.

I remember when I was in year 1, I always started writing a 1000-words paper more than two weeks before the deadline, therefore, I checked and revised it again and again, to ensure that it is a high-qualified assignment. In this sense I can easily get high marks of my paper as well as my exams. But now, the assignments and exams are more and more frequent and difficult, I do not know how to deal with. Sometimes I think the quality of my works reduces, so that it becomes harder to get a good grade. I feel very depressed. I often recall the beautiful days when I was in year 1. May be that is the so-called "growing pain".

See you in the class 2 hours later!